Oakland Park, FL 33308
30 minute free phone consult available
COMING TO TALK, COMING TO HEAL, COMING TO GROW
COMING TRUE
Counseling and Coaching
Individual Counseling
Counseling is a bit like “cleaning house.” I begin by joining clients at the front door of their “house,” and we assess what needs attention. Chaos and clutter in the entry may need immediate focus. Maybe the bedroom is a disaster. Perhaps the basement appears so vast and scary that you dare not go down there. For some the chaos may be contained in one area, but for others, it may be spread all over. Fortunately the skills learned early in counseling build upon each other over time, and they become more instinctual as work progresses.
My “cleaning” approach lies in Narrative Therapy at its core, but I utilize other interventions as necessary, such as CBT, DBT, or mindful self-compassion. We all have stories of who we are, where we have been, and where we are going. In counseling we will examine these stories from many angles. How did I come to believe what I believe? Who and what taught me to feel the way I do? Can I really rewrite my own story in a way that is freeing and helpful? Taking time to develop a complete and accurate story leads to healthier understanding of self, others, and the world. We build a space that is safe, relaxed, and even fun some times, all to create forward movement. We will engage a process of growth and healing based strengths and a real hope.
-
Coming Out
-
Mixed Orientation Marriages
-
Relationship and Sex Struggles
-
Trauma Recovery
-
Depression
-
Anxiety
-
Career Challenges
-
Self Esteem
-
Substance Abuse
Individual Coaching
For anyone living outside of Florida or Georgia, one-on-one video coaching is available for men going through the coming out later process. Coaching is distinctive to counseling in that we focus on today and tomorrow. I provide structure, planning, and motivation as one considers their options. If other issues in the mental health realm appear, I can provide some context and options for seeking professional counseling in your home area. This kind of identity shift holds deep nuances, and it can be difficult to find professionals with the expertise to work through the various aspects involved. Even if you have a counselor you love, feel free to reach out for any additional support focused on the ins and outs of coming true around self and sexuality.
-
Understanding the journey
-
How and what to say to spouse, kids, family, and friends
-
How to manage personal and professional boundaries
-
Dating and Sex
-
Faith Challenges
-
Decision points for change
Couples Counseling
Relationships can and will be hard at times, even the healthiest of relationships. Couples counseling lets relationship partners sit with a counselor to examine the ins and out of the relationship itself. Gay relationships can have so many layers, and one size fits all answers simply do not exist. When I start with a couple or system, I do a deep dive with a 90-minute initial session together, followed by individual sessions with each member. We then come back together to chart the course forward. A good understanding of history is important when creating a future together.
Communication styles may differ, world views may be misaligned, traumas of the past may be alive and well and hurting. Learning to really talk AND really listen is vital. Without agreed upon and practiced healthy communication, how can people really tackle the tough stuff? We can work to improve communication AND understanding as we address some of the common issues in relationships between men:
-
Sexual challenges or mismatches
-
Open, monogomous, or something in between
-
Income, age, and/or ambition disparities
-
Parent/Child dynamics
-
Deception and omissions
-
Substance abuse
-
Internalized homophobia coming out at or from your partner
-
Physical abuse
Perhaps you just want to get even better at the stuff that makes your relationship worth it. Perhaps you are fairly early in a relationship, and you want to establish healthy patterns from the start. Whatever the reasons for seeking counseling, it is often the door required to get to whatever you decide happily ever after will mean for you.
"Out Late" is group therapy for men coming out later in life. Sitting with others on this same path can be transformative and incredibly healing. I've run this group for 13 years, and dozens of men have participated along the way. The group dynamic builds community, confidence, and a place of hope during some daunting transitions. In the group setting, we address all aspects of this journey. Some people join before they have ever told anyone about this truth, and some have already come out but want support in developing their new life.
This group is called an open-ended process group. This means you can join anytime and stay as long as it is helpful. We address the here and now in each individual member's lives. Unlike many group offerings, I encourage members to develop friendships beyond the group room, although dating and sex remain a no-no. We meet weekly for 90 minutes at my office in Fort Lauderdale. The cost is $75 per session, and many men find this experience to be invaluable.
If you are interested in joining, give me a call or text at 770-828-5441. I will conduct a free one hour phone interview to assess if this is the right fit for your needs. The group is limited to 6 members, so there may be a waitlist at times. All prospective members must complete the phone interview before going, so reach out as soon as you can.